Tale of the Tape

I think it's time for one last American Idol post before the season comes to an end. The David vs. David matchup is just what we were hoping for and Tuesday should be a great show. I'd like to break it down sports style and give a couple "keys to the game" for both contestants, but before that I have a couple of comments.

1. Syesha... I just don't know what to say. I guess there is something to be said for being just good enough. I'm pretty sure she finished third as a result of a conspiracy on the part of the contestants. About week 6 or 7 I think the remaining finalists started to see that the Davids were going to the final and that it pretty much didn't matter what place you finished if you didn't make the final two. So one by one they each decide the throw the game, culminating in Castro not even pretending like he still wanted to be there when he went home a week ago. Everyone who leaves early gets a couple weeks at home to relax before coming back to do the final show then going on tour. What does Syesha get...nothing but the priveledge of being the last one off a sinking ship. I'm not sure if she's a winner or a loser in that deal but I do know I'm surprised she got as far as she did.

2. Fantasia - Not going to spend much time here since I already consider her the worst of the winners ( Taylor Hicks included) . But if you want my opinion on last Wednesday I would say she looked like a cross between a rooster and a sausage, only if the the rooster now crowed in a high pitched scream that petrifies animals.

Now the breakdown of the final. If Idol sticks true to format the show will have each of the Davids sing three songs, one from the season, one they pick themselves, and one truly aweful "American Idol Song" that they will be forced to record and have their name attached to for the rest of their lives. The format really works this year because to win one of the Davids will have to do something they never have done succcessfully this year...pick a song for themselves and have it actually sound really good.

Here's my logic. The American Idol song is going be a win for David Archuleta. I am 100% certain that this song will 1. be a ballad 2. feature at least 10 high singer notes or runs 3. have some sort of inspirational theme 4. be oozing with more horrible cheese than gas station nachos. This is young Davids wheelhouse and since David Cook will not be allowed to change the arrangement to suit him or sing it any other way then the way the writers intended he will lose by comparison and end up losing the round.

In contrast all David Cook has to do to win the "song from the season" round is break out the Mariah Carey "always be my baby" tune he worked up a couple for weeks ago and it will smoke anything Archuleta has done. Achie is almost a shoo in to sing Imagine, again, but it won't hold up against Cook's song which is already a real world hit and should be released shortly after the show is over. So that gives the round to Cook and ties the ballgame.

That means to gain an advantage they have to do it with the songs they pick themselves. Both completely suck at this so it's anyone's game. Another monkey wrench in the mix is the way song choice is staggered in the final. 1st round one contestant sings their song from the season while the other sings their new song. This is done so that each contestant can "win" a round and potentially make the American Idol song the deciding factor. This works against David Cook for obvious reasons.

Personally, I haven't made my mind up yet on how to vote. I'll wait until Tuesday, but here's two ways the show could go. the perfect scenario for each contestant.

David Archuletas perfect show:

He wins the coin toss and sings last.

Round 1: David Cook leads off the show with his new song. He picks something from a current rock band, maybe some Goo Goo Dolls or Matchbox 20. Does an okay impersonation with mixed revues. Archie then belts out Imagine, Randy tells him to go sing the phone book or something like that, lots of praise. He clearly wins round 1

Round 2: Cook sings "Always be my baby", in a perfect world he sings something else and screws his opportunity, but lets say he sings the money song and get praise. David then comes back with something fresh. I recommend "Say" by John Meyer, If he performs this with more focus on the words and less on his technical singing it could be a hit. He has already proven he can sing John Meyer fairly well and the song was originally recorded by a caucasian so that will help us avoid some of the akwardness we saw on this last show. Best case Scenario..round is split.

Round 3: Both of them just sing the song. All of America feels horrible about making David Cook have to record such a cheesey piece of trash. ( The same way we felt about Blake last year) Archie wins in a landslide and we have our first Mormon American idol.

David Cooks perfect show:

He wins the coin toss and sings last.

Round 1: Archuleta leads off the show singing an African spiritual hymn about a child that leads the world out of poverty and hunger. He confesses to Seacrest that he believes that child to be him. Cook sings, " Always be my baby" and blows away the choosen one to win the round.

Round 2: Archie belts out "Imagine" same as always and gets his props. Cook then suprises us by reworking a pop song from the 80's or 90's and once again it turns out great. I love David Cook's sound..but he's not a great imitator, he has his own vibe and he looks weak when he's trying to do someone else's stuff. If I were choosing David's song I would probably go with " We Belong" by Pat Benetar. Hear me out on this one, it's a song that can easily be sped up, has some decent lyrics, and he would give us the fresh take that we look to from him. A successfully reworked song would be a pleasant suprise for the audience and he could easily take the round given a new interpritation of a song sung well beats out just a plain song sung well.

Round 3: A miracle occurs and the Idol song doesn't completely suck. Achuleta sings it well, but Cook is allowed to do a rock version of the song and for some reason it fits a little better. Now that he has an acceptable single and has given us a great show, America votes Cook and he's the first rock singer to win the show.

In truth, neither of these probably happen. Both Davids are probably nervous as heck, both choose new songs that stink, and tie goes to Archuleta and the millions of teenage girl who love him. Not particularly exciting, but rarely does anything live up the hype. This probably is no exception, but I'll keep hoping for the best anyway.